Monkey Business 'Debrief'
by BearSent176
Summary: Another chapter in Unheard Flipper's 'Truth about Kim and Ron' Universe. An unofficial 'debrief' of the 'Monkey Fist Strikes' episode with Kim and Roman. Hope you enjoy, and thanks for following along.


**For those of you who don't know these series of short stories are inspired by Unheard Flipper's 'The Truth About Kim and Ron'. Our intrepid blond hero (Roman) has some grammar problems because he's native Russian (and we'd have the same problem if we were plopped down in his shoes). Kim is herself but a little older. So Roman Stopblaski is the property of Unheard Flipper, hopefully if you read UF's tale you'll be able to figure out who everyone else is and their relationship to Disney's 'Kim Possible'….hint, hint.**

2

Monkey Business

Or

Cross off Bates

"Roman.", Kim hissed to her blond companion as they walked away from Middleton High; in best-friend-proximity to each other, "Where did you go last night while I _had_ to go to Cousin Larry's?"

Looking him in the eyes, "And what happened between you two? He never told me what you two talked about and Barkin is all hush-hush about the whole incident."

Slipping back into Russian, then self-consciously trying to get the local accent and his thoughts straight in his mind, the proud soldier replied, "Mess Possible….sorry, _Miss_ Possible, Wade knew you had a family night event and wanted to check out that Professor...E mean Lord Fiske."

At her narrowed eyes, "Remember it's not that E'm not qualified to perform a reconnaissance mission...E jest look inept. E went to his castle with…with my little friend and a hologram of you. At first I thought it was the real you…it was so lifelike...Until I put me hand through you."

Growling lowly and checking to see if the area was clear of eavesdroppers, she tugged on his arm in annoyance, "You'd better remember that it's Kim or KP, Stopblaski…Not Miss Possible! We have to keep up the appearance that we're best friends, and that slip could give us away.", Kim admonished her partner, forgetting that she had called him by his real name just moments ago.

"Or am I gonna have to go and kick your Ruskie butt again?"

"E sparring match with you is always welcome me _little_ **KP**.", he smugly growled, "Et vould be most bablical."

Rolling her eyes, "E thought the word you made up was _badical_.", she corrected him; something she had to do fairly often, "Damn you now you have me doing it."

Then glaring at him, she remembered he sometimes would trade getting beat up just for one good feel in a clinch.

"Et is..and E am.. sorry.", the older than he looked blond apologized, "E am still getting confused with all the slang that you Amerikans use, I vill try harder."

"Good enough, you're trying and I know how hard it is for you. OK," as she looked again around before continuing, "so what happened at Lord Fiske's castle?"

Roman shook his head, "E haven't been autorized to release all dat infromatin yet, but I vill say dat de whole mission was strange."

"Not authorized?", Kim almost shouted, then calmed down. "Barkin?", she groused.

Nodding, Roman sighed, "Yes, Barkein. But vhat eh can tell you is dat after dat idol you retrieved in Cambodia was stolen, Wade's research on it _and_ Fiske led to a hunch dat de idol somehow may be vith heem. So Eh vent to check it out with Rufus, and ve found dat idol along with three others."

Turning him to face her, "You went there with_out_ backup?", she hissed.

"Nyet, Wade made a hologram of you to make et lok like you vas vith me. So the hologram, our friend Rufus and me went to see des Englis Lord.", Roman told her with a small grin that slowly got larger.

"**What? **You know we're a team Stopblaski...I mean Ron. We're supposed to do these missions _together_.", Kim grated out trying not to punch the silly grin off his face.

Amusement fading from his face, "Relax Lieutenant, ve have each both been on missions on our own before and vill in da future. Major Barkein knew Eh could handle anything that came up. He wanted you to have a night at home for et change to relax with your family."

Then shrugging his shoulders, "Both of es and Wade thought that it was just intelligence gathering, but I wes armed with two sidearms. Ef I felt I needed to use dem I would have. Anyway, you have taken mizzions by yourselv before. Da?", Roman's English always degraded when under stress.

"So what happened then?", Kim asked as she sighed gratefully at his thoughtfulness, and at how she overlooked him being more capable than he appeared.

"Ve got to the castle and the servant, Bates man, let us in. Vhile it became obvious that Fiske _is_ nuts ve found ve couldn't just let Bates run loose. After Rufus bet into his foot I decided det he must go.", Roman explained.

"Rufus must go?", Kim asked in confusion, while wondering what betting on Bates was about. She finally decided to ask Major Barkin about this later.

"No no not my Rufusika….**Bates**.. Bates had to go. Fiske is crazy but Bates is smart, efficient and quite evil...meh orders where to terminate him ef he wes a problem."

Then looking off to the side after a pause, "Et took some piano wire, but he now will never trouble us again."

Looking down, then morosely to Kim "Eh took his body and the monkey statues and placed them where dey won't be easily found again.", he said with no joy in his voice.

Blurting, "You bloodthirsty _bastard_ Stopblaski!... Ron!", the red head muttered, then stopped and stared at him as she rubbed her temple with her right hand.

"Eh am not thirsty for blood. I drink water and vodka. Meh little ones drink milk, just like Eh used to...before da money got tight", he told her, "After Papa died in..."

"Look, I'm sorry about your father, but that's not what I meant. Bloodthirsty means you _like_ to kill.", the red head snapped, then gave pause, thinking about his time as a youth.

"E..do not like to kill. E kill when E have to, an only den...Only den.", his eyes watered.

Realizing she had hit a sensitive subject, she whispered, "I'm sorry Roman, really I am...Do you want to talk about it?".

Gathering himself, "Nyet. E have noting to zay.", the blond replied he wiped his nose on a sleeve.

Kim was a little worried about her friend/comrade-in-arms, "OK so you took care of Bates, what happened to Fiske?"

"Ze Police took him for observation. Do you know dat he had hands and feet of a monkey?", Roman asked.

Perking up in surprise, "He did? How did that happened?"

"The Englis Lord mention someting about gene splicing and manipulation and expensive surgery.", Roman told his teammate after calming down a little.

Reaching to his arm and giving him an extra squeeze to help make up a little for her earlier moments of harshness, "Maybe we should look into people who do those things. What do you think Roman?", Kim asked.

Laughing lightly, Roman said, "Da that is good idea. Wade had the same one. Vou are getting as smart as hem."

Smiling warmly, "Thanks I'm glad I'm not just another pretty face."

With a sidelong glance to her, "Take et from me you have a beautiful face.", he told her. _'En body too. Too bad she es unavailable.'_

Stumbling for a second, and then ignoring the compliment, "So what did you do to Fiske?"

Thinking back on that night, "We fought…he had fairly good skills, but not up to Spetsnaz standards. Eh played with him for a while before I got tired of him. He kept prattling about Mystical Monkey Power or some setch fantasty he has that comes from da monkey stones. I stood there among the stones with heem too…some lights flashed, but E didn't feels anyting.", Roman reported, "So I jest knocked hem out."

"Why did you do that?", she asked

"I wuz tired of hearing him rant. Three year olds make more sense. He wuz giving meh a hurt head.", Roman laughed causing Kim to giggle and grab onto his arm tighter, "Anyway he might lead us to others, the more crazy people we get together the easier it is to start an insane asylum."

A warm smile on her face, Kim tugged Roman off to some familiar lights in the near-distance, "Come on _Ron_, lets get you to Bueno Nacho. A hero like you deserves the best."

Then worrying,_ 'I hope he's alright. Up to now I just thought he was nothing more than a wanton killer, a mindless killing machine. Maybe I've been wrong about him.'_

"Ah a beautiful woman and cheezy food. Da, it does not get better. Isn't that right Comrade Rufus?", the fan of all things spicy Tex-Mex said while thinking of how it could be made better.

"Hnk, yes Sir.", the reply came from Roman's thigh pocket.

XX

"So Roman...uh Ron, did GJ help with the cleanup?", Kim asked lowly over her taco salad while scanning to see if anyone was listening in.

"Da. Eh mean ves. China boy said his usual snotty remarks hoping to goad me into a fight again.", Roman whispered.

Then with a wink, "He forgot about the last time."

"Oh what did he say?", Kim asked as she wondered if she would have to report the arrogant Chinese Agent and occasional thorn in their side as she finished the salad, noticing Roman combining a burrito with nachos.

"Et es not worth re-saying Kim...er KP.", he looked down putting the rest of the food in a bag, "Come let meh walk vou home."

"Sure, we need to study anyway...right?", she asked.

"Yeah study KP.", he replied seemingly lost in his thoughts as they walked to the door.

On their way out, they bumped into a small group of girls entering the restaurant.

"Excuse me, I _am_ sorry.", Roman apologized.

After regrouping from the minor collision, "Watch it, you … Oh hi Kim!" Smirking as she scanned the two, "Are you still hanging around with this loser?", a teal eyed brunette snarked, "What's his name again?"

"Of course she is Bonnie, and I think the name is Stupidable or something.", one of the other girls laughed, "She's just as big of loser as he is. About the only thing that would be worse is if his pants fell down." The other three girls laughed at the two.

Roman heard Kim growl and he put a restraining hand on her upper arm.

"Oh there you are Bon-Bon, I was looking all over for you.", he said with false joy in his voice.

"What for loser?", she quipped, "And my name is NOT Bon-Bon.".

"To let you know that we couldn't go out on that date Saturday night. I have to study; so I'll have to break it. I hope you're not angry. I'll try to make it up to you next week.", he smiled, then leered at the brunette, "I can get a motel room, if you'd like."

"We are **not** going out Stoppable.", Bonnie screeched, "And we are sooo _**never **_going to a motel room."

"Oh I'm sorry; I forgot what you told me. That's right we're not dating...I apologize ladies, Miss Rockwaller and I have **never** and are **not** dating. And I know nothing about the pink thongs she wears.", he told them raising his right hand as if swearing an oath as he winked at her.

Bonnie sputtered as she yelled at the blond, "_Pink_!...YOU LOSER, I would _never_ date you!"

Laughing as they exited the restaurant, Roman and Kim walked off towards her home.

When the red head and the blond were a block away Kim lightly punched him on the arm, "That wasn't very nice."

"Kimika, whoever said I vas nice?", Roman asked, "Et es jest a game ve play. Bonnita thinks she is da top of pile, und it is funny to see you get upset vit her."

Then considering something he heard from the spoiled brunette cheerleader,_ 'Hmmm Eh wonder…Maybe I can get my pants to fall down. I vonder if Wade can help me with dis?'_

His musings on the subject in the developing stage, he filed them away for another time to consider, but he did make a mental note to not let a certain red head know what he was planning to do with this idea…

XXXX

And here's Chapter Two of those behind-the-scenes adventures of Kim and Roman in Unheard Flipper's little corner of the KP Universe. More to follow as time allows, and it is our hope you enjoy reading them as much as we did writing them.

Now the disclaimers: Kim Possible and Steve Barkin are the express property of the Mouse Ear Dominion and their multitude of Lawyers who zealously guard property rights for their bosses and their bottom line.

We ain't making a dime off of this and are borrowing them for non-profit purposes and the entertainment of those who may read this little tome.

Roman Stopblaski is the creation of Unheard Flipper, formerly Guns, Knives and Napalm, and has graciously loaned him to us, as well as this storyline he created back in the misty depths of time, so we can have fun with him and those who inhabit the Kimverse.


End file.
